33 ratings
0 saves

Joke: Where do dangerous chemicals go?


Punch line: The hood (fume hood).


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25 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Two brothers, Timmy and Tommy, are very mischievous so they are sent to a religious reform school.

Almost immediately Timmy gets in trouble and is sent to the principle's office. The large principle looks at Timmy and asks "Do you know where God is?" Timmy's eyes get large but he doesn't say a word. The principle asks again louder "Do you know where God is?!" Timmy suddenly runs out of the room screaming.

Tommy discovers his brother crying in the corner of their room and asks him "What's wrong?"

Timmy responds "They don't know where God is and they think I took him!"


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19 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A man comes home early from work one day and finds his wife naked in bed. He turns and sees a man's feet coming from the curtains. Angry he goes over and pulls the curtains away saying "Who the hell are you?"

The man replies "Why I'm the moth exterminator."

The husband asks "Why are you naked?"

The man replies "Oh my god. I'm too late!"


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14 ratings
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Joke: What church did the raisin attend?


Punch line: Grape Baptist.


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3 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Why was the cat so uncertain of life?


Punch line: He met Schrodinger.


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195 ratings
14 saves

Joke: A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the eyes and says "Will you marry me?"

She looks back at him with a smile and twinkle in her eye and replies "Come again?"


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