Joke: A man went to the doctor because he could no longer get an erection. The doctor told him to bring his wife in. So the next day the man comes in with his wife. First, the doctor tells her, "Take off all of your clothes." So she does.

Next he tells her, "Now turn around... Okay, good. Now lie down." With this he pulls the man aside and tells him, "You are perfectly healthy. I didn't get a boner either."

Joke: A man runs into a hospital and yells, "Help! I'm shrinking!"

One of the nurses sits the man down, "We're very busy here today sir, you're going to have to be a little patient."

Joke: A truck driver is delivering some penguins to the zoo. But his truck breaks down in a dessert near the zoo. Luckily, a pickup truck soon comes by. The driver flags him down and hands him $300 saying, "Take these penguins to the zoo."

A few hours later he sees the same guy heading the opposite way with the penguins still in the back. He yells at the man, "You were supposed to take them to the zoo!"

The guy replies, "I did, but we had money left over so we're going to the movies."

Joke: A man and his wife were having financial troubles so they decide she should work the streets to make some extra money.

She comes home that night with $31.25. He asks her, "Who the hell gave you a quarter?"

She replies, "All of them."

Joke: Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep!

Joke: Is it okay to sleep on a stomach?