Joke: Two random variables were sitting in a library. They were trying to be discrete but I could hear their chatter continuously.

Joke: A guy walks into a bar and approaches another man at the counter and says, "I just fucked your mother. We did it in your bed and I came all over her. What do you think about that?" The other guy replies, "Dad, you're drunk."

Joke: Why does the United States need 53 states?

Joke: Why are there never any problems with the decimal system?

Joke: Two brothers, Timmy and Tommy, are very mischievous so they are sent to a religious reform school.

Almost immediately Timmy gets in trouble and is sent to the principle's office. The large principle looks at Timmy and asks "Do you know where God is?" Timmy's eyes get large but he doesn't say a word. The principle asks again louder "Do you know where God is?!" Timmy suddenly runs out of the room screaming.

Tommy discovers his brother crying in the corner of their room and asks him "What's wrong?"

Timmy responds "They don't know where God is and they think I took him!"

Joke: A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacy asks him "Would you like me to put that on your bill?"

The duck says "What kind of duck do you think I am?"