Joke: What do you get when you mix your dad's red paint with his white paint?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Who's Duff?
Who's duff who?
You da foo!

Joke: What is the best way to keep water from running?

Joke: Math teacher: You can't use y to represent a single point!
Student: Y-naught?

Joke: Why is the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?

Joke: Tyler and Connor have a friend named Nico. They like everything about him except the fact that he is extremely optimistic and always sees the bright side of everything. So one day they decide to tell him a story that he cannot find the positive in.

Nico meets Tyler at his house and Nico asks where Connor is. Tyler tells him "You didn't hear? He found his girlfriend with another guy last night and killed them both then he killed himself."

Nico says "Thank God!"

Tyler looks at him and says "Are you serious?"

Nico says "Yeah, if that would have happened a few nights ago I would be dead."