Joke: Chuck Norris only has two speeds: Walk and kill.

Joke: A guy is driving through the countryside. He looks over at a hill and sees a shepherd fucking a sheep in broad daylight. He yells, "Hey! Where I come from, we sheer 'em!"

The shepherd, without pausing from his activities yells back "Sheer 'em? You can get yer own damn sheep!"

Joke: Why was the king so glum?

Joke: What's the best way to comfort a grammar Nazi?

Joke: Yo mamma's so fat, when she swims a whale comes and kisses her.

Joke: 1st Man: My wife eats like a bird. 2nd Man: Really! What do you mean? 1st Man: She eats worms.