Joke: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, it isn't called a push-up. It's called an earth-down.

Joke: The movie '300' was originally supposed to be called '1' and star Chuck Norris. But nobody would pay to see a million Persians die in 10 seconds.

Joke: Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Joke: Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until they give up their information.

Joke: Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.

Joke: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, just waits.