Joke: How do you get a blonde with one arm out of a tree?

Joke: Chuck Norris was up to bat in baseball... He struck out the pitcher.

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, not even a calender would give her a date.

Joke: What do you call an artist that works out of a dark alley?

Joke: A 17-year-old girl was mad at her dad because he always treated her like she was a little girl.

He gave her a gold star for standing up for herself.

Joke: A man's wife yells up the stairs to him, "The sun's finally come out!" He quickly throws shorts, flip flops, and a tank top on.

When he runs down stairs he sees his son holding his friend Tom's hand. The man's wife looks at him shocked, and says, "Oh God, not you too."