Joke: Why don't mathematicians need to buy wood for their fireplace?

Joke: Teacher: Johnny, what is the definition of infinity?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Never mind, I don't want to get sick.

Joke: Why were the dark ages called the dark ages?

Joke: Mrs. Smith asks her class, "What part of the body grows ten times larger when stimulated?"

The class is silent so the teacher asks them again. This time a little girl named Emily raises her hand, "Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't be asking seventh graders this kind of question. I'm going to tell my parents."

Mrs. Smith ignores her and calls on Jimmy. He answers, "The pupil in your eye."

Mrs. Smith replies, "Very good Jimmy," then she turns to Emily, "Now for you young lady, I have three things to tell you. First, you have a very dirty mind. Second, you didn't do your homework. Third, you are going to be very disappointed."

Joke: A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."

The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your penis so I can enlarge it."