Joke: Chuck Norris went on Man Vs. Wild once, wild lost.

Joke: Chuck Norris doesn't turn the shower on, he just stares at it until it cries.

Joke: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courthouse?

Joke: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Joke: A washed up actor hasn't gotten a job in years. He has lost his ability to remember lines. But after looking for work for a very long time, finally he gets the lead role in a Broadway musical.

When he arrives at the theater the director tells him, "You have the most important part, but you only have one line. You walk onto stage with a rose; bring it close to your nose with your thumb, index, and middle fingers; and sniff it deeply. Then you will say, 'Oh, the smell of my lover.'"

When it comes time for him to say his line he walks onto stage and says, "Oh, the smell of my lover." With this the crowd begins to laugh hysterically and the director explodes with anger.

The actor runs off stage and asks, "Did I forget my lines?"

The director replies, "No! You forgot the flower."

Joke: What's the best way for a massage therapist to get fired?