Joke: A taxi driver picks up three drunk guys. He knows their drunk so he turns the car on, sits there for a second, and turns it off. Then he said "Here we are!"

The first guy hands him the money and the second guy thanks him. But the third guy slaps him hard on the face. The taxi driver is surprised he figured it out, but asks him "What the hell?"

The man replies "You need to slow down next time, you almost killed us."

Joke: What is similar between men and women?

Joke: John was a man who, like many people, ate out of boredom. He would often eat things just because they were in front of him.

This is how he lost his job as a gynecologist.

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."

Joke: I asked a Chinese girl for her phone number.

She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

But her friend ruined it and told me, "She means 666-3629."

Joke: How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb?