Joke: A mortician named John had the terrible task of prepping his best friend Tom to be cremated. Upon inspecting the body, John discovered that Tom has the largest private part he had ever seen. So in the name of preserving it, he cut it off and put it in his bag.

When he got home later that night he told his wife, "You're not going to believe this," and he opened his bag.

"Oh my god!" She yelled in horror, "Sam's dead?!"

Joke: What is the last thing a Tickle-Me-Elmo gets before he is sent to the stores?

Joke: What do you call a bear without shoes?

Joke: An onion field is a commutative onion ring in which every nonzero onion has an inverse.

Joke: What did the noodles say to the butter?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Honda!
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my first love gave to me!