Joke: A man's wife is standing in front of a mirror naked and says "Look at me. I'm fat, wrinkly, and old. Is there anything still good about me honey?"

Her husband responds "You have great eyesight!"

Joke: Man: When I get better will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: Of course.
Man: Cool, I've always wanted to be able to play piano.

Joke: What compound don't you want your kid's report card to look like?

Joke: Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Chicken!
Chicken who?
You. If you don't answer the door.

Joke: A blonde man and blonde woman are watching TV and they see that a particular tribe in Africa ties weights around their penis' to make them grow up to 24 inches long. The woman tells the husband that they should do it and he agrees.

The next day she asks him how it is going and he tells her "Half way there."

She asks him "It's 12 inches long?!"

He replies "Nope. But it's black."