Joke: For Chuck Norris all bottles are squeeze bottles.

Joke: Some people claim they can bend spoons with their minds. Chuck Norris bends minds with his spoon.

Joke: Chuck Norris eats breakfast at McDonald's each morning... At 11:05!

Joke: Ozzy Osbourne stole the idea of biting a bats head off from Chuck Norris... The only difference is that Chuck used a pterodactyl.

Joke: Scientists finally figured out why the universe is expanding... It is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Joke: We must keep Chuck Norris busy, otherwise he might decide to kill time.