Joke: What'd the man's magic 8-ball tell him when he asked it what email client he should use?

Joke: What's the difference between politics and organized crime?

Joke: A janitor working at a church is sweeping the floors when a priest approaches him in a hurry, "Hey! I have to use the bathroom, can you hear confessions for a bit?"

The janitor replies, "I have no idea what penance to give."

The father replies, "There's a little chart on the wall, it's easy."

The janitor agrees and gets in the box. Within minutes people start coming in. The first person says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 1 month since my last confession and I have lied."

The janitor scans the chart, "Lies, lies, lies. Here we go! Say 5 Hail Mary's and 5 Our Fathers!"

The next person comes in, "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been 6 month since my last confession and I committed adultery."

The janitor find adultery, "Adultery, adultery... There! Say 10 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers!"

A third person comes in and says, "Forgive me father I have sinned, it has been a year since my last confession and I performed oral sex 8 times on different men."

Again, the janitor scans the chart but he can't find oral sex. He cracks open the confessional and stops an alter boy, "Hey, what does the priest usually give for oral sex?"

The alter boy replies, "Most of the time some candy and a Coke."

Joke: How do you drop an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?

Joke: A man gets on a plane and is seated next to a young kid. The kid won't stop talking during the flight so the man turns to him and says, "Lets talk."

The kid replies, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

The man replies, "How about string theory?"

The boy says, "That's a very interesting topic. But first, do you know why rabbits, horses, and cows poop all have different poop even though they all eat grass?"

The man replies, "I have no idea."

The boy smiles and says, "How do you expect to discuss string theory when you don't know shit."

Joke: A man and his girlfriend are discussing their relationship. She thinks he is too immature. He asks her, "If I'm immature, then how do I have so much butfore?"

She asks, "What's a butfore?"

"Pooping silly...."