Joke: A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"

His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"

Joke: A man stands buy his grandpa who is dying at 130 years old. His grandpa tells him, "The secret to a long life is to sprinkle a little gunpowder in your cereal every morning." Then he dies.

The boy listens to him and does it every morning. At the age of 143 he leaves behind 3 wives, 14 children, 40 grandchildren, 78 great grandchildren, 167 great great grandchildren, and a mile wide hole where the crematorium used to be.

Joke: A man in his 20's goes to the bar with his friends. Immediately a lady in her mid-forties starts buying him drinks. Later on she invites him back to her house. He says no, but she offers him some mother daughter action if he comes home with her. He agrees.

Now very excited, they head to her place and go to her bedroom. They start to get into it so he begins to think the mother daughter action was a lie. When he asks about it the lady walks to the stairs and yells up, "Mom! This guy wants to meet you!"

Joke: What food has been found to cause years of suffering and depression in men?

Joke: What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, starts with C and ends with T, and has a U and N in the middle?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Owls!
Owls who?
Yes, yes they do.