Joke: What has 200 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

Joke: Thomas was out of work with the flu for a couple of weeks. When he gets back to work his friend Joe asks him, "Hey, are you doing okay?"

Thomas replies, "It was the best!"

Joe replies, "What? Weren't you sick?"

"My wife truly loves me," Thomas explains,"Every time a delivery guy or the mailman came to the door she would run to the door yelling, 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"

Joke: Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

Joke: Why did the chicken eject the cassette tape?

Joke: All of the organs are deciding who should be in charge:

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "I run all the body's systems, without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart , "I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over."

"No! I should be in charge," said the stomach, "I process the food that gives us energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "without me the body couldn't go anywhere."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the anus, "I am responsible for waste removal."

All of the other body parts laughed at the anus and insulted him. So he shut down. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the heart pumped toxic blood. They all decided that the anus should be the boss.
,br/> What is the moral of the story? Even though everybody else does all of the work the ass hole is usually in charge.

Joke: All the letters: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, and z were having a meeting when they realized a letter was missing. X says, "Is somebody missing?"

D replies, "Must be an absentee."