Joke: Where does a sheep get its hair cut?

Joke: When do ducks wake up?

Joke: Why did the soldier go to the bathroom?

Joke: How do you know when your hallucinations are getting better?

Joke: A man walks into his doctor's office. His doctor tells him, "Your wife's results came back positive. I can't remember if it was AIDS or Alzheimer's though."

The man replies, "That's not very helpful. Can you just test her again?"

The doctor replies, "How about you leave her in the middle of the forest and if she finds her way home don't fuck her."

Joke: What do you call it when a girl freaks out while on her period?