Joke: How do you get a free light bulb?

Joke: A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend after hours of lovemaking. She is playing with his balls. After a while he asks her, "Why are you playing with them?"

She replies, "Because I love them."

He asks, "But why?"

She replies, "I miss mine."

Joke: What did the kidney say to the other kidney as it was failing?

Joke: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine?

Joke: Why does nobody want to enter a contract with Wolverine?

Joke: A truck driver is delivering some penguins to the zoo. But his truck breaks down in a dessert near the zoo. Luckily, a pickup truck soon comes by. The driver flags him down and hands him $300 saying, "Take these penguins to the zoo."

A few hours later he sees the same guy heading the opposite way with the penguins still in the back. He yells at the man, "You were supposed to take them to the zoo!"

The guy replies, "I did, but we had money left over so we're going to the movies."