Joke: A blonde woman is pulled over on a by a police officer for swerving. He asks her, "Mam, why were you swerving all over the road?"

She looks relieved, "Sir! I'm glad you're here. I looked away for a second then there was a tree right in front of me. Then I swerved left and another tree was right there. Then right, then left."

The police officer bends over and looks into her car and reaches for the rear-view mirror, "Mam, this is your air freshener."

Joke: Why can't some men date English teachers?

Joke: How are weather men just like every other man?

Joke: Three elderly ladies are discussing their mental health. The first lady says, "Today I was at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember if I had just gone up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "I was sitting at the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember if I was about to sleep or just woke up."

The final lady says, "My memory is as good as ever, knock on wood." With this she hits the table twice. Suddenly she is startled and looks up, "Who's there?"

Joke: Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Joke: What is green and eats nuts?