Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man in a restaurant sees an extremely attractive woman sitting alone, so he decides to send her a nice bottle of wine. The waiter brings the wine to the lady. The lady looks at the bottle for a moment and sends a message back to the man. It reads: 'For me to accept this bottle of wine you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a few million dollars in your bank, and seven inches in your pants.'

He reads the message, laughs, and sends back one of his own: 'Just send it back. I have a Ferrari, Mercedes, and a Corvette. I have twenty million in the bank and a house in Aspen, LA, and Miami. But I will NEVER cut three inches off for any woman.'

Joke: Sex of the ages:

20 - 30: Triweekly.
30 - 40: Try weekly.
40 - 50: Try weakly.

Joke: Why was the old computer sad?

Joke: What does a woman do with her asshole if she wants to have an orgasm?

Joke: Wife: Do I look fat in these jeans?
Husband: Can I be completely honest with you without you getting mad?
Wife: Of course!
Husband: And you won't get mad?
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: Okay... I fucked your sister.