Clean Jokes

Joke: A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says "I have faith, God will save me."

The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue helicopter and tells him to climb the ladder up, but he says "I have faith, God will save me."

The man is now getting tired but thankfully a dolphin swims under him and starts to carry him to shore, but the man pushes the dolphin away saying "I have faith, God will save me.

The man dies and goes to Heaven. He asks God "Why didn't you save me?"

God replies "I tried! I sent a ship, a helicopter and a dolphin!"

Joke: One day a blondes house catches on fire so she calls the police in a panic and hears "What is your emergency?"

She replies "My house is on fire hurry!"

The person on the other end responds "Mam, calm down and tell me where you are."

She yells back "My house! Come to my house!"

The person now annoyed says "We need more than that, how are we supposed to find you?"

The blonde gets mad and says "With your big red trucks!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting c-
Mooooo!

Joke: Three girls are sitting together at a bar: a blonde, a brunette, and a girl with green hair. A man walks up to them and says "You girls have beautiful hair. Do you dye it?"

The blonde looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

The brunette looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

Finally the green haired girl sneezes into her hand and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

Joke: A doctor, a priest, and an army general are all flying in a plane together. To help the people the doctor drops a first aid kit and the priest drops a bible. The army general has nothing else to drop so he drops a grenade.

They land on the ground and first they find a man playing with the bandages from the first aid kit. Next they find a man unconscious on the ground with the bible next to him. Finally they come to a young boy who is laughing hysterically. When they ask him what is so funny he replies "My grandpa farted and my house exploded!"