Clean Jokes

Joke: Mahatma Gandhi spent most of his time barefoot, covering his feet with calluses. He ate very little, which made him frail. His odd diet also gave him bad breath.

What did this make him?

Joke: What church did the raisin attend?

Joke: An Amish family goes to the mall. The daughters and mother go shopping and the father and son stop in front of two shiny walls that are sliding apart. An extremely large woman on a scooter rolls into the elevator and the shiny walls move back together.

The man and his son watch as the numbers above the elevator slowly light up until the highest number is illuminated. Then the numbers begin to climb back down and the shiny walls once again part. A gorgeous blonde exits the elevator.

The father, still staring at the woman, whispers to his son "Go get your mother."

Joke: What's green and spits out flames?

Joke: Two men go on a fishing trip. They rent everything they need for the trip including the cabin.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch anything. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home one of them turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"