Clean Jokes

Joke: A man meets the best Bible salesman in the world. The salesman greets him, "Nuh, nuh, nuh, nice to meet you."

The man asks him, "If you don't mind me asking, what's your secret?"

The salesman replies, "It's suh, suh, suh, simple. I juh, juh, just go to the duh, duh, duh, door and suh, say, 'Duh, duh, duh, do you wuh, wuh, want to buh, buh, buh, buh, buy a bible? Or wuh, would you luh, luh, luh, like muh, me to ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, read it to you?'"

Joke: Two Jewish mothers are talking and one says, "I have some unsavory news. I sent my son to Israel to become a more faithful Jew, but he became Christian!"

The other mother replies, "Funny story! I sent my son there for the same reason, and he became a Christian as well!"

The two women, worried about their sons, went to their Rabbi for advice. When they tell him about the situation he says, "Funny story! Ten years back I sent my son to Israel for that very reason when he was studying to be a Rabbi, and he became a priest instead!"

They all decide it would be best if they prayed for guidance. After several minutes of prayer God addresses them, "What is wrong my children?."

They explain that all three of their children went to Israel to become better Jews but converted to Christianity instead. God replies, "Funny story!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ding dong!
Ding dong who?
Ding dong, I just found the doorbell.

Joke: The captain of a cruise ship has a parrot. Him and his parrot go to the magic show on board every night. and every night the parrot calls the magician out on his trickery , "It's up his sleeve!", "There is a hole in his hat!", "There's a fake bottom!"

So finely one day the magician gets so fed up with the parrot he pulls out a gun, shoots at the bird, misses the bird and hits the boiler. This causes the ship to blow up into bits.

The magician grabs onto a piece of floating wood and the parrot lands on his shoulder. The parrot looks at him and says, "I give up, where's the boat?"

Joke: Two guys stumble out of the bar and want to fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'm gonna punch you!"

That was the punch line.