Clean Jokes

Joke: A man walks into a bar with his dog but the bartender says "You can't bring your dog into here!"

The man replies "but this is no ordinary dog. You see, this dog can talk. I'll prove it to you. What covers trees?"

The dog replies "Bark!"

He asks "What's on top of a house?"

The dog answers "Roof!"

Finally the man asks "Who's your favorite baseball player?"

The dog says "Ruth!" The bartender immediately throws them both out.

The man says "What was that guy's problem?"

The dog answers "Maybe he's not a fan of the Yankees."

Joke: Why did the blind man stab himself?

Joke: Three priests are talking. The first one says, "I've tried everything, but I still can't get rid of our rats!"

The second one says, "I know! We've tried poison, traps, noise. Nothing works."

The third one says, "We baptized and confirmed all of our rats. Now they only show up at Easter and Christmas."

Joke: A kid is at his interview for a job at a burger joint and is asked "What do you expect to get paid hourly?"

The young man replies "I was thinking about $20 an hour."

The interviewer replies "Okay, we can do that. You can also have one month paid vacation, dental, and medical."

The boy gets excited "Are you joking?!"

The interviewer replies "Yeah, but you started it."

Joke: What has four wheels and flies?