Clean Jokes

Joke: A man in a bar sees a friend at a table drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"And this month," continued, the friend sadly, "Nothing."

Joke: Where are average things manufactured?

Joke: What'd the man think when he saw a sneering dwarf climbing down a prison wall?

Joke: Why was the geologist so excited to find a rock that measured 1760 yards?

Joke: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, and their pilot are flying aboard Air Force 1 over the United States.

Barack: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out of the window and make someone very happy."

Michelle: "Well, I could throw throw ten hundred dollar bills out of the window and make ten people happy."

Joe: "Why don't you jump out Barack, and make me very happy?"

Pilot: "Why don't you all jump out and make 300 million people happy?"