Blonde Jokes

 

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Joke: A man goes to a coffee shop and asks the blonde waitress, "Can I have a coffee with sugar, no cream?"

The waitress replies, "Oh, I'm so sorry sir. We don't have cream. Could I get it to you with no milk instead?"


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Joke: A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game, "All you have to do is ask a question and if i get it wrong or don't know it i give you five dollars, then i ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."

"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her five hundred dollars, but she still only has to pay five dollars.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.

She gives him 5 dollars. "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends. After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars. Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"

She hands him 5 dollars.


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Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."


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Joke: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?


Punch line: She was trying to make up her mind.


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Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor after hurting herself. The doctor tells her, "You're going to have to take it easy at work for a couple of weeks." He then gives her a note for her employer.

When the blonde brings the note to her employer he tells her, "Okay, I guess you're going to have to have light duty for the next few weeks."

The blonde replies, "Oh no! I don't know how to change lights."


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