Joke #346

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Joke: A guy moves into a new house just outside of the city. While he is unpacking his car a truck pulls up and the window rolls down "Hey there neighbor! I just saw you were moving in and I wanted to invite you to a welcome party."

The guy puts his box down and replies "That sounds great."

The guy gets out of his truck and says "Yeah, there will be drinking, fighting, dancing and sex."

The new guy replies "Oh, okay. What should I wear?"

"You look fine," the neighbor replies, "It's just gonna be me and you anyways."


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Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"


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Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."


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Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"


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Joke: Three guys are hanging out at one of their houses when a terrible storm starts. It's so bad that they can't leave the house all night. So they decide to go to bed, the only problem is that there is only one large bed so they all have to share it.

When they wake up the next morning the guy who slept on the right says, "I had the best dream, a beautiful woman was giving me a handjob."

Next the guy who slept on the left side says, "That's weird, I had a dream where I was getting a handjob from a sexy lady."

The last guy, the one in the middle, frowns and says, "I had a dream I was skiing."


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Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?


Punch line: You get your palm red for free.


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