Short Jokes

Joke: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Joke: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Joke: A man is jogging down the road and he sees a boy eating a candy bar with a ton of wrappers sitting next to him. The man tells him "Kid, it isn't good for you to sit there all day eating candy bars."

The kid scowls at him and says "Hey mister, my grandpa is 98 years old and still walking around."

The jogger asks him "And he sits around eating candy all day?"

The boy replies "No, but he minds his own business."

Joke: A new father is sitting down with his father for a drink. His dad tells him, "Now that you're a father yourself it's time I give you something."

He replies, "Dad, you're not talking about-."

His father interrupts, "Yes. It's time." With this he hands him a copy of '1000 Dad Jokes, 6th Edition' to his son.

He says with a tear in his eye, "Dad, I'm honored."

"Hi honored," his father replies, "I'm dad."

Joke: Mrs. Smith is teaching her 3rd grade class and tells them, "Human beings are the only species that can stutter."

A little girl named Emily replies, "That's not true, my little kitty stuttered the other day. Our neighbor's dog jumped over the fence the other day and my kitty said, 'Ffffff! Ffffff! Ffffff!'."

Mrs. Smith asks, "How is that stuttering?"

Emily replies, "Before she could say 'fuck' the dog got her."