Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Joke: Why did the stoplight turn red?

Joke: A mother and her son go to church and the son says "Mom, I have to go pee!"

The mom says "You shouldn't say that in church. From now on just say you have to whisper."

The next week when the boy's father takes him to church the boy says "Dad, I have to whisper."

The dad replies "Okay... Just whisper into my ear."

Joke: What is the best way to kill a hipster?

Joke: A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study. He sees a sign indicating the profession of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for an engineer's brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for a programmer's brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for a lawyer's brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is a lawyer's brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"