Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

Joke: A man and his wife are setting up their new computer. When it comes time to pick the password, he types in "my_brain" but the computer rejects it. His wife says "I told you it was too small."

Joke: Two men are working on a telephone pole. A little old lady walks by and one of the men yell to her, "Hey lady, can you move that wire off of the sidewalk for us!"

She picks it up and moves it from the sidewalk. The second electrician says, "I told you it wasn't live."

Joke: How many guys in the friend zone it take to screw in a light bulb?

Joke: An Englishman is walking down the Irish countryside and stops at a river to take a drink. He cups a hand and gets some water. Just as he is about to drink a shepherd yells to him in a thick Irish accent, "Don't drink out the river, it's full of sheep pee!"

The Englishman replies, "I don't understand a word you are saying. I'm English. What'd you say?"

The shepherd replies, "Use both hands, you'll get more that way."