Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

Joke: A man goes out with his friends for the night. Before he leaves he tells his wife, "I promise I will be home by midnight."

Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home at about 3 AM. As he walks in he realizes the cuckoo clock is about to go off. As it begins to go off he has a flash of genius and decides to coo another 9 times. He sneaks in to bed satisfied with himself.

The next morning he wakes up and his wife has breakfast made. She doesn't seem to be mad. Satisfied with himself he asks her, "You sleep okay last night?"

She replies, "Yeah, but we need a cuckoo clock."

He asks her why and she tells him, "Last night it cooed 3 times. Then it yelled, 'Crap!' It cooed another 6 times and giggled a little bit. Finally it cooed 3 more times, farted, and tripped on the carpet."

Joke: What kind of bear has no teeth?

Joke: Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Joke: Three men are sitting on a beach in Jamaica talking about how they all ended up there. The first man says, "I ran a superstore out in California. But business got bad so one day there was a bad fire and I collected the insurance money and moved out here."

The next man says, "I had a Jewelry store in the Midwest. But business went downhill and we were robbed. So I collected the insurance and moved out here."

The final guy says, "I had a little fishery on the East Coast. One day a hurricane hit and I collected the insurance money. I had nothing left but the money so I moved out here."

The other two men look confused for a while then ask him, "How in the world did you start a hurricane?"