Question: A panda walks into a local restaurant. He eats some pickled bamboo, shoots the manager, then walks out the door. The police arrive and question the panda. "Did you shoot the manager?" they ask. "Look at the dictionary," the panda replies. What does the dictionary say?
Answer: The panda eats shoots and leaves. (Eats food, shoots manager, leaves restaurant.)
Question: Four jolly men sat down to play, they played all night until the break of day.
They played for cash and not for fun, with a separate score for every one.
When it came time to square accounts, they all made quite fair amounts.
Not one lost and all gained.
Now that you've heard, can you explain?
Answer: The four men are musicians getting payed to play.
Question: A man is found dead on a Sunday morning. His wife calls the police immediately. The police question the wife and staff. The wife said she was asleep, the cook said he was cooking breakfast, the gardener said she was picking vegetables, the butler said he was cleaning the closet, and the maid said she was getting the post. The police immediately arrested the murderer.Who was the murderer?
Answer: The maid because there's no post on Sundays.