Question: A woman goes into a bank in Chicago and asks for a $1,000 loan for an upcoming trip she has planned to Asia. The loan officer tells her she will need collateral if she wants the loan.
She tells the loan officer "I'll leave my car, it's worth $150,000." The bank takes the car for the loan, laughing at her for leaving such expensive collateral.
A month later when the woman comes back she pays off her loan plus interest, costing her $1,020. The bank manager smirks at her and asks "While you were gone we found out you're very wealthy. Why would you get such a small loan and leave such expensive collateral?"
She tells him why and he realizes she's not as dumb as they thought. Why did she get the loan?
Answer: She got the loan to keep her car safe and save money on parking while she was gone.
Question: This is a bus:
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Which way is the front of the bus facing (left or right)?
Answer: Left, if it was facing right you could see the door of the bus.
Question: Before dying, a father left a will to his two sons telling of a gold-panning stream that had supported his father's family long and hard. The will said that the two sons could make one, only one trip to the stream to pan for gold, but for as long as they wanted, and that whoever carried the gold back got it. On their way to the stream, the two sons lost a big fraction of their supplies, reducing their stay to two months. All they had now were some food, a mule, and panning supplies. During their stay, they managed to pan and smelt a gold bar 5 inches in diameter and 5 inches in height. Back in their hometown, the two sons disputed long and hard in court over who should get the gold bar. Now, the judge was a wise one. Who did he say got the gold bar?
Answer: The mule. A gold bar 5 inches in diameter and 5 inches in height would have weighed far too much for either of the sons to carry, only the mule could have.
Question: The rich landlord wants to marry the beautiful farmer's daughter. He tells the daughter that if she doesn't marry him, he will evict her father from the farm and they will be homeless. She begs for mercy. Slyly, the landlord agrees to allow her one chance to stay. He pulls a bag from his pocket, and reaches down and picks up 2 stones from the rocky path then places them in the bag. Reach into the bag and pull out one stone. If you pull out the black stone you will agree to marry me. If you pull out the white stone you and your father can live here rent free. The problem is that she knows that he picked up two black stones and no matter which one she selects she will be forced to marry him. What can she do to avoid marrying the greedy landlord?
Answer: They are standing on a rocky path. She reaches into the bag, pulls out one of the black stones and then pretending to be clumsy drops it onto the rocky path. Oh my, she exclaims.... I dropped it, but whichever color stone is still in the bag will tell us which color stone I dropped!
Question: Thomas has missed an excessive number of days of school, so he must meet with Principal Davis. Mr. Davis asks him "Why on Earth have you missed so many days?"
Thomas replies "There just isn't enough time for school. I need 8 hours of sleep a day, which adds up to about 122 days a year. Weekends off is 104 days a year. Summer vacation is about 60 days. If I spend about an hour on each meal, that's 3 hours a day or 45 days a year. I need at least 2 hours of exercise and relaxation time each day to stay physically and mentally fit, adding another 30 days.
Add all of that up and you get about 361 days. That only leaves 4 days for school."
The principal knows Thomas is full of it, but can't figure out why. Where is Thomas going wrong?
Answer: There are two reasons:
First, Thomas is double counting a lot of the days. A lot of the time spent sleeping, eating, and relaxing occurs during weekends and the summer. Weekends also occur during the summer, so all of these hours are getting counted several times.
Secondly, school isn't an all day thing. So the 4 days actually represents more days of school. If school is 6 hours per day, those four days represents 16 days of school.
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