Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes?


Punch line: No eye deer.


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Joke: A man gave his wife super glue instead of chap stick.

She still isn't talking to him.


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Joke: Teacher: Give me a sentence that starts with the letter, "I".
Student: Okay! I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Don't say 'is' after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".
Student: Okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!


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Joke: A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, "What are you doing?!"

He tells her, "If this vacuum doesn't clean this up I'll eat whatever's left."

She smiles and replies, "I'll grab you a fork. I haven't paid the electric bill in months."


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Joke: A truck driver stops at a restaurant to get some food and rest. A gang of bikers approach him while he's eating and start to mess with him. They call him names and throw food at him but he doesn't do anything about it. When he's finished he pays his bill and leaves.

After he leaves one of the bikers says, "Well he isn't much of a man is he?"

The waitress says, "He isn't much of a truck driver either. He just ran over 20 motorcycles on his way out."


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