7 ratings
1 saves

Joke: Teacher: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the-
Chemistry student: Precipitate, I know.


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6 ratings
3 saves

Joke: What did the baby computer say when he saw his father?


Punch line: Data!


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13 ratings
5 saves

Joke: Tom walks into his boss' office and tells him, "Sir, I know things are going the best around here but I have three companies that have contacted me recently. I would like a raise."

His boss agrees and after debating the amount for a while they agree on a 5 percent raise. When Tom gets up to leave his boss asks him, "What companies contacted you?"

Tom smiles and says, "The cable, electric, and water company."


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9 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Why didn't Platinum fit in with Gold and Silver?


Punch line: He isn't a part of their family.


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22 ratings
4 saves

Joke: What is thin, white and scary?


Punch line: Homework.


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18 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A washed up actor hasn't gotten a job in years. He has lost his ability to remember lines. But after looking for work for a very long time, finally he gets the lead role in a Broadway musical.

When he arrives at the theater the director tells him, "You have the most important part, but you only have one line. You walk onto stage with a rose; bring it close to your nose with your thumb, index, and middle fingers; and sniff it deeply. Then you will say, 'Oh, the smell of my lover.'"

When it comes time for him to say his line he walks onto stage and says, "Oh, the smell of my lover." With this the crowd begins to laugh hysterically and the director explodes with anger.

The actor runs off stage and asks, "Did I forget my lines?"

The director replies, "No! You forgot the flower."


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