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Joke: A young couple gets married. They have their wedding and reception. When all the guests have gone, they go up to their room to have sex for the first time. Neither of them have ever had sex before so they both sit nervously on the bed. Finally the wife says okay honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my left tit but if you don't squeeze my right. This gives the new husband and idea so he says to her, ok honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my dick but if you don't, pull on it 55 times or more.


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Joke: (you must return to the 70s with me for this one) Why can't the Blonde make Kool-aid?


Punch line: The directions on the packet of "KOOL-AID" said, "Just add 2 quarts of water". The PROBLEM is that she could NOT figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in that little packet......


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Joke: What did the ground say to the earthquake?


Punch line: You crack me up.


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Joke: Why are fish so smart?


Punch line: They swim in schools.


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Joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel balls?


Punch line: Sparky


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Joke: Little Johnny was in class and yells out, "Hey teach, I gotta take a piss." The disgusted teacher asks her students, "Class, can anyone think of a different word to use other than the word piss?" And little Suzy raises her hand and says the word, "Urinate." The teacher says that is very good then tells little Johny that he can go to the bathroom as soon as he can use the word 'urinate' in a sentence. So he thinks about it for a moment and says, "Well teach, urinate but if you had bigger tits you'd be a 10 !"


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