Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: What do you call a gay female dinosaur?


Punch line: A Lickalotapus


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Joke: What does a woman and an airplane have in common?


Punch line: They both have a cockpit


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Joke: What did the two tampons say to each other?


Punch line: Nothing because they were both stuck up c**ts


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Joke:   Two college kids that have never tried drugs before decide they're going to buy some on a friday night. They get caught with them and spend the weekend in jail. On Monday morning they go before the judge. They have never been in trouble before and did not have a criminal record. The judge looks them both in the eyes and asks, So I suppose you boys are trying to make a career out of doing drugs now? NO, NO we're not! They both cried out. So the judge thinks about it for a second and then says, I'm going to cut you boys a break. Here's what I want you to do. I want you both to come back in 20 days. And in 20 days time between the two of you, I want you to have found 20 of your College friends that you have talked out of doing drugs and into staying in college. Can you do that? Yes, yes your Honor. They both reply. Then one of the boys asks, How are we supposed to do that? Well I've heard of a big circle little circle method the judge answered but you'll have to go online and figure that out yourselves. Come back and see me in 20 days.(the Judge's gavel comes smacking down) When they come back 20 days later the judge asked the first kid, So how did you do?He answers, (cont. in Punch line below)


Punch line: ( cont.) Your honor, I personally got 30 students to quit doing drugs and stay in school. The judge says that's Great! How did you do it? I did the big circle little circle method. First I drew the big circle and I told them, This is your brain before you do drugs. Then I drew the little circle and told them, This is your brain after you do drugs. That's when the other kid stood up yelling you did the wrong one. The judge looks at him and asks how many students did he get to quit doing drugs and stay in school? He answered, Your honor I personally got over 200 students to quit doing drugs and stay in school. The judge is ecstatic and says that's GREAT!!! How did you do it? The student explains that he did the big circle little circle method as well. Then he went on to explain that he drew the little circle first and told them, This is your butt hole before you go to prison, ....


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Joke: Superman was flying over the Earth protecting it when he spots Wonder Woman nude sunbathing on the top of a high-rise building. He instantly gets a huge Superman boner. After 6 hours it still won't go away. He can't go back down to the Earth with it and he's got to do something so he figures if there's any woman on earth that could take that thing it would be Wonder Woman. He flies around the earth six times getting up to supersonic speed and flies down to Wonder Woman, does his thing and is gone in less than a second. Wonder woman asks "What the hell was that?" And the Invisible Man answers, "I don't know but my ass hole sure hurts!"


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